you're my unicorn

this is worth watching. 

gone before christmas.

it was a blessed month--December. a month filled with happiness, laughters, love, blessing, presents, caring..im trying to think of all the good and happy words. as this is the time that we sinners once again find the purpose to live again. because our heavenly Father loves us so much that he sent his only son Jesus to Earth to die for us. and that made December 25th Jesus's birthday--Christmas. and ever since, we humans live without fear or confusion.

at this very joyful month, everyone, especially children should be doing their christmas shopping, taking photos with reindeers and their beloved santa claus, going on holiday, snowman building or writing birthday cards to Jesus. they should have all the time in the world to enjoy themselves. i know i did. but today, not all are lucky.

Last friday, December 14th, 26 victims--most of them children, were shot dead by a alleged shooter--Adam Lanza. The motives behind were unknown, but this is what we know, the hard and cold truth, that 20 over children were dead. suddenly. and before christmas. i don know what to say, or why am i even writing this. but i had this really heavy stone weighing in my heart and i don know who to tell.

i love children, i've always have. Jesus loves them best too. In Matthew 19:14, Jesus said: Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. In Mark 10:15, Truly i tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter. Those are God's word.

im not here to judge today. im not to say that Adam Lanza's evil and he deserves to die. im just really really sorry. for those kids. for their families. for their loved ones. it's Christmas for crying out loud. and all of the sudden, the joyful celebration becomes a sorrow event, with mourning, coffins, crying and dead little bodies, curling or laying straight. going colder and colder. and there's nothing we can do to help.

some of them might not even had the chance to blow their tenth candle, to learn how to ride a bike, to do their very first christmas presents wrapping. and they will never had the chance again..to kiss their mummy goodnight, to tell their dad they love him. and the saddest part: what if they never get to know God before.

it breaks my heart...just to think about it.

some of the kids involved in the tragedy.
sweet. pure. innocent. who would have thought the next minutes, these little angels would have left us..forever.



there're alleged heroes out there. maybe a principal who protect her/his students. maybe a teacher who hid the students in the lockers. we don know. but thank you. from the bottom of the heart.


and so, you out there. maybe you're now roasting a turkey for christmas dinner. maybe you're now wrapping your christmas presents or writing a postcard or christmas card, maybe you're now sitting by a fireplace singing christmas carols to your children, maybe you're celebrating christmas out late with alcohol and dancing. and so happen to run into this. drop that for a moment. clear your mind for a moment. lay your knees on the floor with crossed fingers in front of your chest.

..and pray.


for everything. thank Lord that you and your loved ones are safe and sound. thank Lord for the incoming wonderful Christmas meal. thank Lord for those who've survived the ordeal.
pray for those sorrowful families who've just lost their baby girl. pray for those with broken hearts and had no idea how to move on. pray for those who had given up love.


because this's exactly what Christmas's all about. to thank. to pray.


and this very moment, BigBang's concert doesn't matter, Micheal Palmer's affair seems pointless, Iphone6's releasing date's a total crap.




xoxo. with a broken heart.

what's it in us.

He loves me with his heart's desire.

I love you to the moon and back.

You loves her to your heart's content.

She loves him for who he is.

what's going on with us. 

Hebe Tian said that we don't love own self enough. 

xoxo.

overnight im a mom with 11 kids.

imma be the last person on this earth to post this event. failedblogger.
junior life camp's kinda new in sibu. not many have been organized before. so here :)

actually difficult to explain. so here's a video for you to watch. doublefailedblogger.

i attended junior life camp somewhere two weeks ago as a voluntary worker. our sunday school's sending 10 kids over and got a short notice that they were desperately short of volunteers so mat and i went. actually i made him go.

i packed my luggage 10 mins before the time i have to depart. i stuffed everything in a small backpack for a four days and three nights trip. haha. cool right. mum screamed: what the heck are you bringing! i showed her proudly lol.
two pairs of jeans--check!
one life game tshirt--check!
one youth convention tshirt--check!
one big checked tshirt--check!
one big jacket--check!
one singlet--check!

that's it, haha. i remembered how serious me and yiek were when it came to camp a few years back. we even wrote a list about what to bring and tried our best to find something that match with each other. those were the days^________^ haiss. growing up is not so fun at all.

but i am participating camp this time as a worker so i guess attire doesn't really matters. we entered the venue a day earlier than the kids. the kids involved this time most probably aged 9-14. so we gotta get ready for them. for those of you who had entered life game before--the adult one, must remembered how badly we've been tortured in the camp. but unfortunately, the junior life game's a completely different story. we, the volunteers have to do EVERYTHING for them. haiss. wrong timing.


we spent the whole day putting up the banners, briefing, arranging their booklets, briefing, practising life checks, briefing, going through the schedule, briefing..yea there's a lot of briefing going on. but the best part is that: although we volunteers barely knew each other, we manage to put aside our pride or shyness and pray for one another. how cool is that. we know God's with us. Amen :)


we have about 100 volunteers this time. yea big gang. to watch over 300 kids. this camp's said to be the largest junior life game they have ever encounter. the 100 volunteers are divided in to three types: 1. the camp counsellors. who do life checks and station activities. 2. the camp teachers. who play with the kids and make sure the kids know what they are doing. 3. the camp volunteers. (yea i make up the names) who take care of the preparation of our meals and guard campers when they sleep. all 3 parties were equally important, and without either of them, the camp won't be a success^_________^. eww. now it's like im writing some sort of report. im gonna stop.


alright alright now the camp teachers and the camp counsellors work together. every camp teacher's working with one camp counsellors. and each pair takes charge of a group of 10-11 children. im a camp counsellors and my camp teacher of which we camp counsellors called assistant haha, is a cute boy of 21 who study english in somewhere college i forgot in kch. how cool is that..*__________* boys who's good in english/music, darn attractive! blinking eyes


haha. when we first got to sit down and acknowledge one another, it was pretty awkward. cause he's kinda quiet and i was like: huh! you wanna me to speak first. imma girl! but..not that i have a choice. so i said: hi! trying to sound cheerful whilst im gonna kill him inside. my name's eileen. blah blah. and he answered: yea my name is xxx (i'll just refer him as qq in this post) . and for a moment everything's dead silent again. so i gave up. and let this burst out from my mouth: well this is awkward. i quickly realized what im saying and turned to see if he heard. he did. and he laughed and laughed. that magically broke the iceberg. :)

this was when we met our camp teachers and were praying for each other's health, the cooperation among the workers, the whole camp process, etc etc..

on the 1st day: we met our kids. and overnight i became the mom with eleven kids. and qq's the dad. we faced terrible mistakes the first day. i calculate their life checks wrongly. i forgot to pass out the new sheet of life checks when the previous ended. and qq had to run through the whole hall to look for our little kids to give them. haha. poor assistant. but it was quite fun :) looking at how we created a city and how our citizens were trying their best to survive in it.
i love kids. i've always have. but 11 kids? that's kinda overwhelming. and unable to handle sometimes too. i meant overnight, you have to learn 11 kids' names, find out their special gift and ability, study their personality..and to tell you the truth, i didn't do a really good job even until the last day. but my kids said they had tons of fun. :)

how can you resist one little kid's smile <3

that's our view of the kids from the life checks tables.

and the children's view of us...

one of the speakers--Belinda.

ps. when i finished bathing for the 1st day, it was already 1230 sth in the morning the next day. and still the next day we have to wake up at 6 in the morning and have briefing at 630. oh Lord.

briefing going on....

on the 2nd day: the activity went on. and the kids were really living deep in the imaginary world. so sweet to see them like that <3 <3 <3 that's why i love kids. they weren't afraid of anything. you just give them a goal and they were run for it. they weren't scared of falling because they have no idea of failing! they never judge a lot, they never survey a lot, they never analyse a lot. they have faith in everything. i said that i love them..but actually it's more like i envy them..

that night, we have a big gigantic enormous stupendous night! the camp organized a funfair for all campers. and that was the wildest. haha. every pair of workers got to choose one game. and the children would have a really fun time playing. with hot music playing, the atmosphere was truly exulting. after the games, a talent night followed behind. every campers was given the chance to stand onstage and perform. oh and yea there's a lot of oppa gangnam style going. haha.

one of the judges--ella. see her luggage and her massive entrance. not to mention her security guard wearing the yellowish jacket beside. HAHA. darn funny.

but alas, fun never lasts too long. it was a really really great night. but after the excitement, the workers gathered again after the kids went the bed. we had to brief about tomorrow which was a really serious issue. can't talk about it. wanna know about it? attend it yourself :) haha. dream-crusher. and we had to stay up to write those kids' certificates and arranged their letters and to pick out the best campers or sth. we workers had had mental preparation that we gotta have to burn tremendous midnight oil. until the camp volunteers said that two campers went missing. a boy and a girl. and all the workers went crazy. we searched everywhere. dirty-minded mat said that the missing kids were up to no good as they were both 14 and started searching those funny places like housekeeping room-________-. i was trying my best not to slap him..shut up! not everyone's like you okey.

but finally we found them. both sleeping in their respective best friend's room. qq. remind me to go slap that two kids in the morning thank you.

we heaved a relief and went back to our work. i wrote the certs whilst qq's responsible for sticking on the photos. it was over 1 in the morning,
so i said: hey you wanna go the bed first.
and he said: why? there's still tons to do.
me: no it's fine if you wanna go the bed first.
qq: it's ok, im not tired.
me: alright.

and after 10 minutes, me: it's ok if you wanna sleep first.
qq: oh why do you keep on asking me to sleep?
me: i don know, you look like someone who will sleep at 9 or sth. haha.
qq: then you've guessed wrong..
me: alright then. you can still go to bed.
qq: oh shut it. i wanna stay. if you say it again, i will get angry orr.

cutest assistant ever :)

ps: we finished at 2 sth in the morning. i hardly have the strength to bathe. never had i slept so soundly.


3rd day--the last day. we had the last round of life game. and the life game officially ended. then then we had sharing and the parents come in and sit to listen. oh btw, the campers didn't cry but we workers did. haha. EPIC FAILED. it's just so touching to see kids growing up overnight. how they thanked their parents for everything, how they'd learnt so much in just a few days. so cute <3 <3 <3 lots of parents cried too..haha. all those nights of hard work, all those pimples my kids laughed at me for seemed nothing at this moment <3 im such a mom, haha.

sharing going on...see the second boy from the left with the rather dumb cute face? that's my group's representative.

the volunteers <3

300 kids....what a cute nightmare-__-

and we had our last lunch and went home.

dear kids, live your best. prepare for God's calling. and never forget the lessons. we'll see each other soon :)

你有多宝贝

我想，我爱你。

重新爱

放长假了，历史老师说过高二的长假对于高三统考的成绩决定权很高。
所以呢，趁着长假刚刚开始，把书橱中大都已经发黄发霉的高一高二笔记挖了出来。

经过一番的折腾之后，分出了好多叠的101大楼。
那一叠是课本，反正都不能丢，又叠回去已经擦干净的书橱。
那一叠是作业，虽然很多很烦人可是还是留着吧，以防万一。
那一叠是笔记，一大堆的纸张真是讨厌全部都塞回去file里面。
那一叠是练习簿，因为不是全部都得留，所以真正需要整理的是这叠。



来到了第24本，是去年的道德练习簿。这个照例来说是丢的。
因为最讨厌上的科目就是道德课，所以上团体室的时候，练习簿都没什么带。
好吧我不是什么好学生。
而且记得，我只用了两面。

第一面是一首诗，这个我记得，老师叫我们抄的。蛮感伤的一篇。
第二面是什么就忘记了。

翻过来，第一个映入眼帘的，第一个闪过头脑的，不是内容，是字体。
是你的字。是你丑丑的字。
让你帮我写的原因是什么我忘了。我记得的只有，
你用的是你一直以来，从来没换过的钢笔。
你那时候坐在我的左边，是10点钟的方向。
就这样。

七扭八歪的字燃烧着薄弱的页面，刺痛了我的眼睛。
我还记得我为了那些丑丑的字发了你很大的脾气。



看着那些字，没有不舍得的感觉，没有熟悉的感觉，没有心暖的感觉，什么都没有。
是我终于放开了，还是其实真的已经过的太久了。
记得上次高一的长假收拾书橱的时候就遇过这本练习簿了，怎么那时候没丢。




看了它们最后一眼，我趁着心脏还没多跳两拍，
闭上眼睛撕了下来，揉成了纸团，以漂亮的三分球扔进了垃圾桶里。
我扼杀了还没诞生了心悸，我能有多残忍。



那天朋友问问了我和你的近况，我第一时间顿住了。原来我和你还有近况可言啊。
似乎是一夜之间的事情罢了，我突然心没事了。
看到你，心脏不会再乱乱的小兔乱撞。
看到你，脑海里不会出现熟悉的画面。
看到你，脚步也不会紧张的乱了拍子。

心，没事了。

我静静的看着躺在垃圾上的纸团。我的爱，安息吧。
我已经花了太多时间为你哀悼。



多么美丽的感情过去就是过去了。多么动人的故事结束就是结束了。
调味料中最重要的成分搞砸了，何必执着的把料理完成，端出去给最重要的人品尝。


是啊，放弃的教训我们说了再说，却没有人能够真正做到。
过去的回忆又何必用文字再带出来，成了最美丽的文学又有什么意义。
动人的青春又何必提了又再一次提，成了能流泪的唯一理由又能怎样。
曾经的挚爱又何必痛苦的不断思念，他潇洒了而你却执着是最难过的。

所以，回忆的相簿别一再再而三的搬出来，《那些年》看了一次，就别再看第二次。
那些五颜六色的字条和便利贴别再留着了，能够看到你背影的任何东西就别回顾了。



别到有天回顾青春的时候，发现都在浪费时间回顾。




是时候踏出新的一步；再体验勇敢爱。

新的一步或许早就到了。

incoming

stressful. last big exam coming up.




last night. i felt stressful and scared and nervous.

and so...
so i screamed :MOM! COME!

her majesty shouted from another room: What!?

i said: COME!

she came rushing asking what had happened.



i threw open my arms and said: mummy i felt stressed. give me a hug.





she smiled and hugged me with the word 'noob' mumbling in her mouth.

xoxo.

can't nobody do it like you

cause this pain i feel won't go away
though i thought that from this headache i could escape

im blessed.

haha! i was days, a month actually late for my birthday post.

a few birthday surprises this year. unexpected ones. in case you don't know, im turning 17. i don't think people make a big deal on 17th birthday. teens girls care a lot about sweet 16 and adult 18. and im now something in between. haha. so here goes..something special on this not-so-special age.

it was two days before the big event. have to write this first because this was the earliest blessing. i just returned home from tuition and received a text from gary. he said, "reached home?" i was about to reply his text when he called me and asked me to come out. and i was like !!!!! because my family were still home and what exactly does he want arr. i was about to ask him to go home because it was quite late but then he said," come out to receive your presents." waaaa. i was shocked that i dashed out of the house and there he was singing happy birthday, with a chocolate cake in his hands. awww ^_______________^ thank you

and this was a day before my birthday and it was after school. i was walking to the school gate with yiek when suddenly yeah stopped us. we used to called him nike in juniors. although i had been in the same class with him for 3 years, he barely spoke to me and vice versa. and so when he approached, i was kinda shocked. but then he said, " hey eileen please tuck in your shirt." and then walked away. i look down and saw my shirt coming out. ish embarrassed.
when we reached the school gate, another voice came from behind calling my name. i turned around, expecting to see another prefect trying to tell me to tuck in my shirt or sth. but it was actually kelvin (chieng). i was dumbfounded because he hasn't spoken to me for..a several months i think. almost a year. we got really close before. i remembered once i switch my digi package to maxis. and everyone thought it was too dear to text me and so my phone was clearly left there sampu-ing. lol. but kelvin chieng texted me one day and said,"haha. am i the only one who's texting you right now?" and i was soooo touched. hahaha. too easy to impress.

i turned around and he said,"happy birthday." waaa <3 <3 my heart missed a beat. touched. i responded,"it isn't my birthday yet. say it again tomorrow." haha.


ps. he did say again the next day.

at the last night of my 16th. i was sprawling on the bed, looking at her majesty calculating if she hasn't given birth to me, how much money would she had left. ish. what kind of mother like this de. and i was clutching on my phone to wait for the magical 12 o'clock. hahaha. and then her majesty asked whose text are you waiting for. i winked at her and shhhhed her. haha. pretend to be mysterious. and then her majesty said :" your friends shouldn't really text you on the dote of 12 you know. because you're actually born at 11 something midnight. " ish. dream crusher mom.
someone offered to call me to count down my birthday but i kindly refused. thanks btw. tonight i would like to be quiet...simply quiet..just quiet..



and now presents! sharing out my blessing and happiness.

first! this's from gary, the earliest bird. who didn't get any worms. lol.

the legandary birthday cake <3 haha. sweet right! so is the cake ._. my sis said your friend hate you so much that he wanna you die of high blood sugar. ish. when he reached my house, i asked vonne to help me take to cake inside so that i have a free hand when he handed me the present. and when i went inside, they've already started eating. -___________- 

can you figure it out from this arch? forgive my photo-taking technique. that's a card and a glass bottle which i thought was filled with folded stars but actually it's something more valuable and..erm useful. haha. it's a bottle filled with notes (gary didn't write them of course), positive messages on every note. now, sometimes, i would dig it out and read one or two when times are hard and write them on facebook to pass the love out. thanks! haha. he must've thought that im negative with my life.

oh and the card? this i have to mention!!! remember that he gave me the present two days before my birthday? i was so excited, receiving my first birthday present <3 <3 so i tear apart the envelope to look. apparently you have to wait until your birthday just like your christmas presents but i was too thrilled. haha. but when i saw the cover of the card, there's a sticky note on it saying: you have to wait until your birthday! and i mused vehemently: how is it even possible! and when i opened it, there's another sticky note saying: hahaha. i know you couldn't wait! 

ish!! am i that predictable -_______- but erm thanks for the blessingssss. good luck on your spm ^___^

and here comes my favourite from him! tadaah!

yes! its a bracelet. rope bracelet is my new favourite <3 didn't know how he figured it out. 

that's "faith" printed in front. and when you turned it over, there's a versus, which make me love it more.

The LORD your God is with you wherever you go.     Joshua 1:9

wore it on my road test, announcing: this's my lucky charm right now!

2. this's from vonne and shasha. i picked it out. a really small present but one of my fav <3 <3 

love the cover. 

used it for my english notes. you can catch a glimpse on the very left of the picture that there's some newspaper posts and some vocabulary notes under it. finally getting serious with my life. 

3. received a lot of random food/gifts this birthday. showing some with the pictures.

first's from nita. as im living sibu, i never have much chance to sank my teeth in special donuts like Big Apple or JCO or Dunkin Donuts as there're no branches available here. yea welcome to my world. but this special day, nita brought one for me at school <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 i wasn't actually into donuts at first because it's a rarity (in sibu of course) and i think it's too sweet. but it's so nice for nita to bring me one, and surprisingly i didn't feel a wee bit disgusting when eating--i used to. thanks tata <3 

my smiley donut ^______________________^

second. without pics. use your imagination-__-

yuki and jac brought me this canned drinks 5 minutes before recess' over!! there's a rule in our school is that you can never bring canned drink into class--that is after recess. and if you are caught doing, your canned drink will be confiscated. they are obviously trying to get me into trouble--on my birthday! said that it's a little prank organized just for my birthday. ish double bad friends. i managed to finish that canned drink just before the prefect came and question me when am i going to finish it. ish! embarrassing. they were laughing so hard that i made a mental note that i shouldn't let them go easy on their next birthday. hmp.

third. haha. does that familiar shape and design ring a bell? 

haha. a day after my birthday, i received this after school. it was already there on the table when i reached home. and her majesty and shasha were giving away sneaky looks and the first thought was: gary sent another one!? (yes. the two cakes were from the same bakery and apparently happened to be from the same series)  i try to made her majesty tell but she kept giving hints only. her hints were 1. he's tall and white. 2. his car's white. 3. he's handsome. and the first man flashed through my eyes were eric! haha. and i was like.. see i know he remember! he was just pretending at school oh and a cake? so sweet <3

but actually it's from...my uncle....

haha. i called him to thank him. and i said in a joking way: how disappointing that it was you. he ish-ed me ^________^ my best uncle ever. 

and that's my second cake. we spent two week eating them until my friends so frustrated that i brought birthday cake everyday to school that they asked me: how many cakes in the world that you mom bought this birthday? i answered none. hahaha. 

4. this's from my bestie for 5 years <3 <3 

colourful rope bracelet. here another one.

cute right. all my favourite colours even ^____________^

alas, the most stupid one! and this is from edward -______-

this blog's going to have a lot of pictures of my arm -____- yea it's a bruise. thanks to edward. wanna know how did he do that?

we sit together during computer lessons. he's sitting on my left. and one day i was dozing off during the lesson (im not very proud of it) and he tried to pinch me to wake me up. but the minute he did that, i jumped and nearly fell from my chair.. and notwithstanding that, this little bruise accompanied me for the next few days. ridiculous right!? i just sat there watching the painful part became green...then...purple (definitely not bluffing!) ...then the next day--black. no idea if he's too strong or it's my skin who's too weak -_____- anyway he said that it was my birthday present. ish. oh and, it's name's emma.



and now the last and the besttttt <3 <3 <3 <3  birthday dinner. at....Tahnamas <3 his royal highness said that since i am turning 17, he's must treat me somewhere grown up. wow.

the dishes. all of them are my favourite. his royal highness ordered.

aunt kathy ordered this for me. too rich for me. but still nice

sista(s) kept on figuring out how does thing do. aunty kathy said it's like we're just out of a village or sth.

this is spaghetti. im running out of caption -____- 

and this...was his royal highness's banana split. but in the end, he made me finish it.

and this's shasha's. his royal highness should have ordered this for me T____________T haha

salad! <3 <3

only now i realised i forgot to take a photo of their highnesses' dishes and mine. too busy eating perhaps. -______-

and now i present you...

..the small version of chocwa. haha. can you believe this baby has grown up to 17? excuse the saliva and i still have that blanket.

xoxo.

not too fine

for once, i thought that you're the one.

回到初中

握着手中的马克笔，看着旁边的闺蜜。

就像回到初中上最后那两节的美术课。

想到这里，嘴角总是不自觉的往上翘。

初中。高中。

距离仅仅只是校服的样式，但就真的只是这样吗。

矛盾人类总是喜欢往前冲刺，却又喜欢往后回忆。

回忆。

回忆。

以前看着自己喜欢的他跟着别的女生说话，心里酸酸的却无可奈何。

到最后能做的就只是转过头去跟背后的闺蜜用嘴形告诉她说自己在不开心。

闺蜜看不懂，还是不甘心的在簿子上写大大的：我在不爽。然后提着拿给她看。

闺蜜再问：干嘛不爽。然后再写：你看他啦！

闺蜜往你喜欢的人望去，然后会心的对你笑了笑，看着你翻着白眼说不爽。

这就是初中吧。

那才是最纯真最朴素最单纯最简单，也是最勇敢最直冲的岁月。

勇敢爱。勇敢付出。勇敢痛。勇敢失恋。

初中的小孩知道什么。但是却好羡慕他们那无知的岁月。

不害怕。不担心。不退缩。的岁月。

回忆。

回忆。

放学的铃声响起。心里os的开心因为又到了星期四一起值日生的日子。

故意不主动找他一起，却在自己孤独的擦着窗的时候，希望他赶快过来。

即使不帮忙也行，就呆在那里陪自己讲话也开心。似乎在告诉全世界他是你的。

这就是初中吧。

没有晚餐的约会。没有浪漫的玫瑰。没有轰轰烈烈的恋情。

单纯的只是喜欢和对方呆在一起。在那有木味的教室里的幸福。然后回家等着你的“我到家了，等下有补习吗？”

现在待在那碎木堆里的粉笔，黑板擦，鸡毛掸，破布，还会记得我们当初的幸福吗。

上一次借喜欢的人的铅笔是什么时候。上次帮喜欢的人做英文是什么时候。上次一起运动是什么时候。

上一次校园幸福，又是什么。

几时学着不诚实了。跟他一起上的道德课学的都跑哪里去了。

哦好像都在跟他讲话後，难怪都没学好老师教的，开始不诚实了。

初中多诚实，不爽他跟她讲话就会直接说：你，给我离她远一点。

高中怎么了，不爽他跟她讲话还要配合跑过去问：你们在说什么。

在干嘛啊。

成长是大家都必须经历的事情。是最无奈的事情。

然而，到最后由好朋友到陌生人的事情才是真正的可怕。

然而，到最后没办法一块儿成长的事情才是真正的无助。

但是时间的确不等人，即使不想成长，大家仍然在长大。

到最后成长必须配合长大，所以努力的放下。然后学会隐藏。

但是不经意的一首歌，不经意的一句话，不经意的一场回忆。

心里的想念，心里的单纯，心里的你的我又偷偷溜了出去。

好不乖。塞回去。

你死了，我也跟着死了。

有人问：为什么爱他不留住他。

我说：以前爱他就认为他辛苦就应该离开他，他就会快乐。现在却觉得当时应该毫无廉耻的抱住他，哭着跟他说：你敢离开我，你就试试看。

有人问：现在为什么不那么做。

我说：他现在快乐也很幸福。或许对于他来说，我只是个不堪的回忆，即然我的错误没有再造就他的不快乐，我又有什么奢望。别为难他了。

回忆。

回忆。

同学，几时找个时间吧。回去那木味的课室，闷热的课室。

拿出上一次还没讲解结束的华语试卷，

一样的课室，一样的老师，一样的同座，一样的你，

我们再来一次上课，好吗？

然后下一节的道德课在团体室记得帮我留个位子。

但是，班级被拆掉了，大楼不见了，在破烂的木头里还找得到我们的我们吗？

谢谢你 敢跟我相爱

i am not encouraging same-sex relationship. but this is sweet. really.





as long as you don't keep reminding yourself that she's a girl.

But now I have two small holes in me.

-No matter how many years go by, i know one thing to be as true as ever was. I'll see you soon then.-   Dear John.

There's always a someone in everyone's life. The someone that you fell in love with, despite the consideration of the future together, the financial problems in front, the two-sides-family connection, the fear of losing each other because of different colleges. The someone who you fell in love with, with your whole heart. no hesitation. because we're just too young. no idea how big is the world. no idea how long is the journey. The someone who you fell in love with, purely because you love him and those minutes together. and that's the only moment when love is truely blind. and without conditions.

Perhaps one day, when we're not childish naive teenagers anymore, but someone who has been outside the world, who has been through so much that words could ever describe, someone who has had loved each other, i'll see you soon then.

im late. for what. reality

Austin: Sorry i waited for the rain.

Sam: It's okey.

And that marks my favourite movie so far.

ma mum pop

this just happened a few minutes ago. and i was laughing like crazy in front of the pc. and decided to write it down.

pretty was cooking in the kitchen. handsome was stretching outside cause vonne wanna jog today. it's a hobby/habit she picked up lately and handsome's joining her cause pretty said he desperately need some exercises. they're going to jog round the neighborhood i guess. i almost never jog with handsome. i tried out once and arrived home 4 hours later. he practically took me around sibu! totally not bluffing. ok a little. plus my direction sense is zero. so no choice i have to follow him around. and was totally worn out when reached home--weary from jogging and complaining. from that day onwards, i have jogging phobia. blame him. ush. too taken away from the subject. back to where we stopped. ...they're going to jog around the neighborhood i guess. and when they were ready, handsome shouted to pretty: remember to close the gate! pretty didn't reply, i think she was too busy cooking. then suddenly her iphone rang. it rang for about 5 seconds then stopped. i was thinking who could that lame dude be when pretty screamed from the kitchen: I KNOW! I WILL CLOSE THE GATE LATER OKEY! YOU DON HAVE TO SPECIALLY PHONE ME ABOUT IT! GOSH!

hahhahah. she was shouting at handsome who phoned her from just outside the house just to tell her to close the gate ._. i blame technology. handsome kept on giggling when he saw how furious pretty was. frustrated pretty gave him an annoying look and screamed: GET OUT LARR!

hahha. that's the end of the story. sheer cute rite.


xoxo.

A farewell without a farewell

I don't have much besties in class. cause most of them were still new to me. unlike those crazies next door who had been my classmates for three fruitful junior years. but now we are apart and there's not many who actually still stay in touch with me. not that i am complaining or anything. i understand the circumstances that no one is to stay in your circle of life forever so treasure those who actually are working hard on it. and it was really hard for me at first cause i gotta know and meet new friends moreover i gotta merge into their world. that's kinda a ordeal for me.

as a result i really treasure those who happen to share the same language as i do in class. tata is one. i met her a few months ago. we shared the same desk. i think putting me and tata together was the best thing my form teacher has ever done. tata is deliriously funny and sweet and warm. i think she was one of those who actually are loved by all and sundry. she's a pro swimmer who goes training every morning at 6 and goes again at 4 in the evening. what human being does that! i used to admire her cause she seemed so perfect to me. of which i mean a promising swimming career, lots of friends(and i do mean a lot!), a loving family, and what's more important, endless food during recess! her mom, whom i have no idea what she's thinking, practically prepares a picnic basket for tata to bring to school everyday. i can't imagine another mother who would give her daughter that much food to bring to school. take my mom as an example, she's always talking about how fat i am and how in the end of the world that i should begin my diet. ish.

anyway tata became one of my besties in class. one that could share gossips and planks and experiences with no worry that she would go telling people around or that she would look down on me. she's a lively girl who never worry too much about does her hair looks right or is anyone going to laugh at her silliness when she gobbled a banana during business study lesson(well i laughed). haha. we gave the same comment during class council; we secretly share our lunch box together during boring lessons; we talked about everything in the world; we really got along so well.

noticed how i use past tense all the time? well here's when the story really starts.

i know she swims really well since the day i got knowledge of her. she was always participating compe in the name of our school, winning gold metals and breaking records. i know she truly loves swimming as if it's a part of her body and i know she's going to shine like wat someday. but i never know it would be this soon.

she had been telling me about she's going to be participating in this whatsoever sumba compe and the compe is going to take up 17 days. i was really happy for her cause from i hear it seemed like a really big compe. and i was totally proud of her. but i was worried at the same time. how's she going to catch up with the studies especially we're going to have a big exam at the end of july. but she said she will work harder when she comes back. she even got all those history star questions from me, saying that she would study whilst she competes there. all of this telling me one thing: that she's coming back soon. thus i never questioned her departure.

today's the first day of her absence, i placed my bag on her seat. i don like the seat beside me empty. but luckily sim3 changed seat and sat beside me. we don actually have a lot to talk about but i just like company, no matter they are quiet or noisy. until kevin turned from the front and asked me: hey do you know that tata is never coming back. and i was like: oh can you keep up a bit? she's going to a compe!and she's coming back soon. just as my words fell dead, all the faces in front turned back and looked at me in funny expressions. and i was like: what's going on? oh come on everyone, stop playing those face tricks. i certainly am not falling for that.

but until everyone's giving me that face, i know things are serious. sim3 told me everything. how tata hid from us about the news and how she spread it out by posting on the wall in our facebook class group after school. that actually she's going to this whatsoever sports school and learning while training there, how she said that she don wanna to leave us and how she don wanna those crying scenes and so she hid from us at school.

i was virtually shocked and stunned. that silly little girl. how can she do that? i mean i totally understand how she doesn't want us to be sad and crying and so for. as the matter of fact, i think i would do the exactly same thing. but come on, not even a goodbye. thoughts and images flashed through my little brain. i couldn't think clearly, i couldn't calm myself down and before i realize, tears burst out. sim3 beside seemed to have predicted this and he patted my back to comfort me. as i tried my best to stop those little drops rushing down my cheeks, i kept asking my classmates around me to ensure that the news is true. all those nodding kept pulling me down. i can't believe this. tata's gone. all of the sudden. i have never felt so lonely for a very long time.

dear tata, i don know if you're ever going to see this, but thank you and farewell with a heavy heart. not going to say more, but i know you'll understand. and. erm. i miss you already. xoxo, me.

听说

我喜欢

xoxo
 chocwa   

耐骂的家伙

迈入了第四天的工作岗位，
呜呼，抬头，挺胸，微笑，加油，今天继续努力尽量不要给挨骂吧，哈哈。

发现昨天才刚刚来工作的女孩今天没来了，八卦了才知道是因为不耐骂。

这时另外一个阿姨问我：诶艺绫，你好像没给骂过厚？

我崩溃：哪里有啊阿姨，我第一天来就给骂了，还是给最凶的那个阿姨厚。

她说：诶，那你还蛮耐骂的嘛，不错哦。

心里OS着：嘻嘻姐姐可是有练过的，能屈能伸丫;)

哈哈。

咖啡店里有三个“10”，一个是我，一个是老板娘的女儿奕伶，一个是负责茶水间的10阿姨。

（我不会写她的名，哈哈，不过还是照样叫）

所以非常之混乱，因为三个人名字的音都是一样的。

最近负责炒煮间的老板娘Mdm Ngu不耐去，

就说：徐艺绫，你以后叫102，陈奕伶，你叫101，茶水间的阿姨就叫10阿姨。

奕伶问：为什么我是101，我比较小也。

Mdm Ngu说：因为在这里你是前辈，艺绫是晚辈嘛。

:) 没关系，我喜欢102。

其实我对于点单什么的还是很陌生，

常常忘记店里有什么茶水没有什么茶水；

星期一二三有什么面，星期五六日没有；

又常常忘记食物名称华语和方言怎么念；

常常把每个摊子的阿姨们弄到无可奈何。

哈哈，正在努力的加油进步当中。

这天来了对父子，儿子看起来就是人小鬼大的感觉。

所以我到他们的桌前的时候就先问儿子：Hi，你想吃什么？

他说：云吞面，还要一杯超超超超超超超超超冷的TehO！

不要说我做作，他真的说了那么多次“超”。

他爸爸瞪他他一眼：不用那么多“超”啦。

我心里OS：还是爸爸成熟。

结果他爸爸转过来微笑跟我说：超超超超超超冷就够了。

这位爸爸._.

结果儿子生气了：不要，我就是要超超超超超超超超超冷的！天气很热也！

爸爸就说：好啦好啦，小姐，超超超超超超超超超冷的TehO一杯。

我很配合的说：好没有问题，超超超超超超超超超冷的TehO一杯。

儿子很开心的笑了(:

所以说嘛，顾客的笑容简直就是我们服务员最好的收成。

OneCentCafe的生意真的不是普通的好，早上超忙的拜托。

可是到了差不多11点的时候就松了，就开始盘算下午要吃什么。

我发现我每天去工作都是为了早餐和午餐而活。

哈哈，只要那天早上MdmNgu答应我说午餐会多留点饭给我，我那天早上就会做的超勤的。

阿姨们都说：你的要求也太低了吧，简直就是为了早餐午餐晚餐而活。

这句话对我来说 根本就是废话啊，这是当然的！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈:DD

呜呼，明天31号了，继续加油努力尽量不要给骂吧。

才工作几天罢了，感觉要虚脱了丫，脚痛。

睡觉去；charging去；明天继续给他拼了。

微电影

微电影，2012年新的一个词。
微电影，我新爱上的一个词。


微电影是啥意思，其实我还是不知道。
去百度查了，可是来不及等它loading好，我的性子就耐不住了。
所以根本就没看内容，可是----微电影，感觉就很好听，很好听，就爱上了。
而且很短，每次才几集罢了，没有连戏剧那么长，你也就不会骂了。
可是几乎每部的结局都是感伤的，为最近的心情又铺上了一层灰尘。

#1部是杨丞琳和罗志祥的《再一次心跳》。
坦白说蛮废的，情节好老土，哈哈。可是他们演的不错好。
尤其是杨丞琳和罗志祥在酒店第一次遇见，结果杨丞琳以为罗志祥是gay的那段，超可爱的。

#2部是我很喜欢的Linda和谢佳见的《你好，谢谢》。

剧情...结束的好茫然，哈哈，女主角死了，男主角忘记了她，也可以说成男主角记不住。

有时候，觉得这样的失忆也很幸福，至少；

昨晚的伤痛，昨晚的泪水，昨晚的心情，今天早上你记不住；

又可以像个小孩子一样重新开始每一天。

“鱼只有7秒的记忆，但是我会在第7秒之前，努力的练习记住你” --《你好，谢谢》

#3部是Elva的《一百分的吻》。

剧情蛮好看的，也很惹人发想，是啊；

当你在追逐着情人分数的高低的时候，你有没有想想你值几分。

而当你遇到了那一百分的情人的时候，是不是适合你的那个呢。

相信我们到最后发现其实情人其实可以不用及格，但是一定要有满满的爱。

#4部就是在刚刚5分钟前看完的一部是《闺蜜》，很难说的上感觉来的一部戏。

会爱上它，或许是因为前面有你弹过的歌曲，我甚至可以说出你发给我的哪段弹错了。

会爱上它，或许是因为真是部很好看的戏，但是你看完你会觉得你没看过什么的感觉。

因为这就是生活，很平淡很简单很可爱的感动，很平凡，可是没有它你就不完整了。

“闺蜜就像家人，知心的一个就够了，闺蜜多浪漫的称呼啊。”--《闺蜜》

而，我现在坐在电脑面前思想，

倘若有天将我们的故事铺成电影，

会是个怎么样的故事？

我想，不会是连戏剧，我们的故事没有那么长，没有那么轰轰烈烈，没有那么戏剧化。

我想，不会是场电影，我们的故事没有那么短，没有那么仓仓促促，没有那么没回忆。

我想，应该会是场微电影吧:)

很平淡很普通很可爱的感动，可是没有了它我就不完整了。

我们的故事，够感伤，够短几集而已，在结束的那刹那依然残留着孤独的遗憾。

全全合格，好吧，就是场微电影了。

而这场微电影还会有续集吗？

“让人伤心不是因为爱情结束了，而是因为当一切都结束了，爱还在” --《一百分的吻》