Wednesday, March 25, 2015

唱K初体验

午饭饭桌上不知道哪只狗说[好想唱K哦]马上其他两个人眼睛像找到十年亲妈那样亮起来说[真的吗?走啦去啦现在诶?现在便宜啊拿学生卡就好了,走啦快吃吃完就去]说完立刻边拿起笔电挖出钱包边扬手叫服务生结账,我个KL菜鸟还搞不清楚状况,夹着鱼丸目瞪口呆地看他们已经在算零钱。


说走就走的节奏我很喜欢,不用我做任何的决定只要我穿的美美地出现就好。现在的性格刚刚好对上夕敏和薰汶的节奏,她们不喜欢人家问太多,叫了出现就对了。果然真的,三分钟过后我们已经在停车场暴晒在火球底下找车子。

去玩的步伐和去上课的步伐是不一样的,夕敏和薰汶整个就是飞蹦进K房,西嘿说我[诶你表达下你的兴奋诶你第一次来耶]翻了白眼真心觉得他根本就是个带着三个女儿去迪斯尼乐园的爸爸。K房比想象中的小,在电影里看到的都好大,果然电影将一切都美化了,其实现实中K房很小麦克风也很常卡卡没有声音而且饮料也很难喝哈哈。


不知道大家唱K是不是都是这样的行程,先找好自己的位置把脚折好外套盖好大腿找到最舒服的位置,一半的人开始问wifi密码另一半的人开始问饮料菜单有什么,遗漏的那一个已经迅速地点好了整三排的歌。我没有唱过K,静静地看他们手忙脚乱,自己煞风景地在那里玩1010!想破夕敏最高纪录。整三排近30首的歌,几乎有一半以上的我都不会唱,这是一个有趣的点:其实来了K房大家还是爱唱老歌。经典的还是老歌,好唱的还是老歌,最美的还是初恋。lol这是什么结论。


一开始先来emo歌,那些年和你不知道的事这两首一下我就已经哭得不像话。夕敏一手搂住我的肩旁一手握着麦克风眼睛没有离开过荧幕,我倒在她的手臂中任由眼泪洒花了脸,我发现其实没有所谓的真的放下或真的忘记,只是大家选择了继续过日子。即便现在的我真的很幸福真的开心,其实每个人深处都有个难过的死穴。美丽的回忆其实都已经模糊,我们根本就不记得了第一次心动在什么时候,然而当时受伤时深刻的愧疚和委屈其实大家是记得的,只不过平常太开心所以我们忘记了我们还记得。K房的情歌在这时扮演了一个好朋友的角色,其实现实真的没多委屈,但是好朋友一句[你还好吗,我都在呢]一瞬间你声泪俱下,只因你觉得有人明白有人懂你。情歌真的是个杀人不眨眼的职业杀手。


或许是看到有人哭了满足感有了,emo歌渐渐换成了嗨歌,看着薰汶和西嘿两个人在沙发上跳上跳下地撕破喉咙一边拉着我的袖子让我一起站,我又发现了另外一个事情。


有这样的朋友其实不错吧,能够让你安心唱歌即便你五音不准走音走到完没有节奏感节拍跟不上,但她仍然拼命地把麦克风传给你说[快快你的歌]让你知道即便你真的唱歌不好听她还是爱你。有这样的朋友其实还不错吧,能够让你安心唱歌即便你心里清楚你已经破音了下意识瞄向她的时候她却神色自若完全没受影响继续盯着荧幕不让你尴尬不让你难过。我是幸福的,诶她们也是好不好。这两个贱货昨晚集体不洗头,两个人头油油的不赶紧回家洗头还拉我出来唱K哈哈我可是一句话都没说。


自己哭了不甘心也要害别人哭可能也是一个唱K病态。眼见时间就要到了就我一个人哭了实在不开心。[让开,我要选歌了]歌曲一出来夕敏就大崩溃[你干嘛点A-lin的歌啊!]哈哈这就是我要的反应。唱完了给我一个理由忘记紧接着西嘿散场的拥抱,夕敏整个精神虚脱两粒眼睛哭得红红鼓鼓的一边拉墙上的纸巾一边咒骂我。又是一个忘记自己还记得的受害者。




只能说亲爱的,谢谢你的出现免去了我需要懂得情歌有多难过的必要。

Saturday, March 14, 2015

it's just not the same

i say myself as a very adaptable person, situation-wise. i can live with everything. anything. either i found life just merely unmeaningful and we're just citizens of heaven passing through here or in some words, they call me strong. but only i know neither of them is true.


because there's some things in life that you just can't live without.


my mom once asked me why did i choose this particular life. i said i didn't choose, it just happened. i believe in some areas, human just doesn't get to actually choose. it just happens. and you live it. because no matter if you wanna accept it or not, life doesn't give a shit. and it's up to you to choose to live it or to live it. heh there's no much of a choice isn't it because even if you don't want to, life still goes on. 


but i guess i was wrong. 


because even as i like to imagine ourselves to be heartless and frozen, the heart still beats. and the tears are real. even as i like to imagine myself to be the strongest and cold-hearted bitch around. it's just not the same. the whole city is different, not because of the amazing structure of the city buildings or the jam and honk the morning gets every day. it's different in you guys not being here. and it breaks my heart. every single time i realize that. 




because i imagine myself to be an adaptable person. i thought i could do this. because i love it here. there's great friends and a beautiful school and i get to wear boldly every morning. but it's just not the same. because the heart still beats. and even when we thought we were happy about this and we could live a new experience and it was a new exposure etc etc, there still will be those nights. where there were no stars. and the people outside your hostel room were shouting and chit-chatting loudly about the nonsense that no one should give a shit and you looked out into the dark in the midst of writing your notes. and you started to cry. 


heh it's silly isn't it. the last time i cried home-sicked, the thunders were rolling. and i was sick. and the only place on earth then that was isolated from the storm is in my mother's arms. but i didn't call back home. because i know she missed me more. and that call would eventually break her heart. i didn't want her to know that her little girl wasn't doing good. i didn't want her to know that her little girl was crying over a stupid cold and the rain. i didn't want her to know that her little girl was growing up parting from her. because i'll always be her daughter, even though we're drifting away days by days. 


for the first time in a really long time, i don't really want the life to goes on. i don't mind sticking here. when i have everyone i'll ever needed. when my parents were still here. and i still get to be their spoiled brat and their favourite pain in the ass. when i don't need to grow up and spend more nights without my mom. because even though right now i know already that some things are drifting apart days by days, and some people just have to go, i don't think i'll ever be ready. 


because there's some things in life that you just can't live without. sorry i'll correct that. there's nothing in life that you can't live without. but you'll live on with a broken heart. you'll live on for someone else. you'll live on being so helpless because you know you couldn't change anything, no matter how hard you tried. and that's even worse, isn't it. time is really a silent killer. 


ignore me, tonight im just missing home.