读别人情书

正月一号一大早去了教堂，去感恩和祈求，今天刘牧师来讲道。他到的时候右边扛着娃娃椅，左边拿着圣经，右膝盖推着儿子说『去给爹地开门』我刚巧站在门口那里，就顺手拉了下。牧师很热情，我拉了个门罢了，他竟然微笑说『谢谢你的爱心』 我顺势望了望娃娃椅里，两个月的宝宝好可爱。

刘牧师再次来讲道，其实我很兴奋。他的讲道很能说服人心而且非常有趣。今天他更说了他家庭里的事情，说圣诞节的时候他给太太写了圣诞卡片。他一开始有点不好意思，说『诶自己念自己的情书好怪哦』他说他们已经相识了20年，从19岁就开始拍拖，一直到结婚然后生了三个孩儿。刘牧师说『一个人对你好，你不许理所当然地接受，即使是最亲的人，即使是太太。她也喜欢被需要的感觉，你必须让她知道。她也喜欢被懂她的好的感觉，你必须让她知道。即使只是未接电话罢了，也不要吝啬，让她知道你想她，牵挂她，把她放在心坎上』

牧师说谢谢太太在他事奉的道路上一直陪在他身边，永远没怨言一直鼓励支持他。说谢谢太太替他顾好孩儿们，让他能专注在他得事奉岗位上。说谢谢太太努力地顾他的身体，说谢谢太太一切的一切。然后是他爱她，圣诞快乐。

牧师娘是什么表情，我没看到。但是我想应该她会在妈妈室里弯着腰，哄着娃娃椅里的宝宝，安顿身边跳上跳下的儿女们， 嘴角却幸福地微微弯起。





以后我也要给爱的人写情书。

米奇的早晨

又是个冷早晨，可是今天有点阳光了。恩或许是时候收拾行李了。新的一年即将来临，对我来说却不是什么特别的意义。可是就是想在今年的最后一天，去看看圣诞树，然后许个愿望。不为什么，就当作是个漂亮的总结也好。

换下睡衣，就冷飕飕的，赶紧换上我的米奇毛衣，呼呼温暖。搬出了妈妈新买给我的行李箱，打算收拾行李。那时候去旅行的时候，妈妈拖我进去一个卖行李箱的铺。我说『干嘛买？家里很多也』爸爸这时候插进画面。『爸爸买给你的，你以后出去读书会用到』听了整个很难过。『我可以用家里的啊，不用买新的拉』其实是想说带点家里的回忆去。结果爸爸说『没事，爸爸给你买新的，妹妹以后出去读书的时候爸爸也会各买一套』

在那铺待了一个小时后，大家一致通过买了套紫色的。

低温度的天气，穿着暖暖的毛衣，给自己收拾行李，也收拾心情。这年的最后一天，过去流的眼泪让它随这年离开吧，过去给的笑容让它随来年待下吧。不管过去多么的难熬多么的难过，可悲的是人生必须走下去，时间更不会为你停下来。在这年轮的尽头，给自己收拾行李，准备迎接来年新的旅程。

记得带上毛衣，在难过的时候给自己温暖。记得带上爱熊，在难熬的夜里给自己依靠。记得带上喜欢的书，偶尔想起不该想的人的时候给自己找事情做。记得带上爱的人，在旅程害怕或是寂寞的时候，拉拉他的袖口给自己拥抱。记得带上好心情和正能量，在旅程中散发出去，让这世界更美好，让自己的世界更美好。

新的一年，我準備好了。

是花的温暖

毕业了之后就没再穿白帆布鞋了，可是本人超爱，觉得很自在很自然很舒服，比起穿高跟鞋或是拖鞋，白帆布鞋在我心中占了个很大很大的位置。加上最近心情反复很大嘿嘿，要让自己快点开心起来就要做点不一样能让自己开心的事情。所以那天重新踩上白帆布鞋，去个充满温暖的地方，找回当时的单纯，好好在爱情起跑线再次准备出发。

我超爱花店，可是不怎么会买花。家里要添点花的这种琐事往往落在了爸爸的肩旁上。因为家里都是女生，妈妈加三个女儿，所以爸爸常常要买花。妈妈的生日，我的生日，他们的结婚周年纪念，爸爸可以说是不怎么会哄女生的，但是还好就是会买花。因此我们这小小的城市里哪里的花最漂亮哪里的花最值得买甚至是玫瑰花现在的花价是多少，爸爸都会稍微知道一丁点。这家店是爸爸介绍妈妈的，而同时间猫拉屎也介绍了我。而那天妈妈说要去花店的时候，我就说『诶mildred那天有说那里有家很美的』『是吗？那待会儿有时间绕过去看看』结果到了才发现，其实大家在说同一间。

我超爱花店，哦上一段说过了哈哈。穿着帆布鞋走花店的感觉更是特别。感觉像是逛爱丽丝梦游仙境，是一种很简单的幸福，是一种自己的幸福，是自己找回来的幸福。

逛完心情很好，很阳光。绕了一个街头去买巧克力，装在白色的小礼袋，挂在高中英文老师的篱笆上。把温暖传出去，让别人也感受到。哦对加个笑脸的字条在里头吧。


这几天阴天，找天穿白帆布鞋逛城市，给自己冷冰冰的心添点温度吧。

鸡蛋打在哪里

跟爸爸的关系从我懂事开始就没有很好。我脾气很差，爸爸的脾气也不软，所以两个人常常闹冷战。将近十年，我跟爸爸的对话常常都只徘徊在要学费和等下几点载我的事情上。直到这几年，关系才稍微好转。所以很多事情上，我们其实没有一起做过。像很多女儿都能够跟爸爸很自然的自拍或是去约会，对我来说却太恐怖了。我完全可以想象我们俩的约会是什么样子的。就是在一个很豪华的餐厅里，两代的人划着自己的电话想尽办法避免尴尬的对话。

可是那天我却陪爸爸下厨。

爸爸很少下厨，好几次的下厨都只是因为妈妈不在家，必须有他代班。而且我爸爸属于一鸣惊人型的厨师。要么他就不做，要么就要做到最好。所以若今天他下厨，我们都是准备心情吃羊排的那种，我没夸大。我爸爸很爱羊排嘿嘿。

我坐在餐椅上看他忙进忙出，一下子拿起锅铲又放下又想起了什么去开冰箱然后再拿起锅铲然后不知道要做什么再放下然后又拿起来。我爸爸很稳重，即使是多么大的事情都会很稳定的处理，很少那么手忙脚乱不知所措，我不禁偷笑。

他努力不把鸡蛋打破在地上，我也没闲着，在旁边给他洗碗。突然爸爸说『诶白酱油叻？』『在橱里哦』『哪里有啊？』推开他，打开橱门。『诺这个哦』『哪里是啊』『哪里不是啊』『去叫你妈妈进来』

以前这样的打闹是不可能的，要么我觉得他根本就没把我的话听进去走掉，就是他觉得我很没礼貌闹脾气。可是那天完全不一样。

妈妈走进来。『oi孩子的妈，白酱油是这个么？』『对啊』『你看，爸爸不相信我』

我爸爸一副哦咯哦咯你赢的态度倒下白酱油。我探头进去看。爸爸问『颜色好像不太对』『哪里不对』『就太浅了拉，黑酱油叻』我顿时三条线。『阿爸，煮这个不可以用黑酱油吧？感觉就是怪怪的』『拿来就对了拉』『stubborn，哦咯』

结果倒下去，不出我所料。『哎呀好像太咸了』『你看，我就说吧』可是不想让他难过，就拿了小碗和筷子，伸手进去拿。『给我试试，看看可以吗』他一边炒着，一边很担忧地等我的判决。恩味道是有点重。他很着急『怎样怎样』『有点咸，要不要加点水，可能会好点』『是么？去去给爸爸拿点水来』

妈妈走进来看看爸爸的一桌菜，怀疑得看看在旁边皱着眉头的我。两人会意的笑笑，很捧场地拿起碗筷，替他扫光了，不忘说『恩好吃好吃太好吃了爸爸你简直就是大厨』看着爸爸很满意的笑容，算了不理今天的瑜伽计划了，多几公斤也比不过爸爸今天的快乐。

下次我们一起出去约会吧，阿爸你要买玫瑰哦。

WRECK-IT RALPH

in case you can't from the picture and the post title, i just recently watch WRECK-IT RALPH (2012). and i know, im too slow on this. but omg it's such an awesome movie. awesome-possum. for those of you who hadn't seen it (which i doubt there would be any), please please please go and see it. rent it, buy it, download it, whatever you do, please just watch it. just the beginning to the very end. and then you would understand what i meant about it being so good. gotta say, disney, you've done it again.

im not going to narrate the story because obviously you gotta see for yourself and i would just ruin the whole cupcake if i've told you right now. but just fyi, i literally wanna cry when vanellope can't exit the game because she's a glitch. i was like: bohoo, how can you do this to such a pretty little girl! sniff sniff. lol. but yea, it was all good and this movie is beyond perfection. 

because if that little kid likes me, how bad can i be. best quote yet!

xoxo.

18岁后的爱情观

18岁的生日我收到了猫拉屎写的生日信，读了之后很有感触，感觉有很多东西分享。

我选择了文字。


《我可能不会爱你》是部很好看的电视剧。李大仁和程又青的故事。李大仁很喜欢程又青，却只选择当朋友，甚至曾经告诉程又青说：你不要想多哦，我是不会喜欢上你这样的女生的。原因没有别的，只因：拥有是失去的开始。很多时候我也被困在这朦朦胧胧的原则里，只相信永久的友情，不相信永远的爱情。所以很珍惜一个人的时候，只把他归纳在友情的名单里，旁边ps永远都不可以失去他。却在爱情与友情的边缘，我们丢失了最初最不愿意丢失的。

就是因为这样，就有了所谓的错过。


但是爱情没有绝对，更没有公平。一生之中会有很多人参与你的人生，有的是份祝福，有的则是场教训。今天你伤害了别人，明天就轮到别人拒绝你；今天你苦苦的爱着别人，明天也有人为了你彻夜难眠。你以为现在失去的是这世上最好的，却殊不知下一个或许才是适合你的人。

我今年18岁，也曾经错过，曾经伤害别人，也曾经被伤害的不浅；但那些都不重要。猫拉屎说：这么多年了，该走的都走了，只有留下来的才是最珍贵的。这就是我喜欢她的地方，她从不刻意要求生活，更从来不强迫她自己去接收她无法接纳的事情。今天我们走到了这里，曾经心痛曾经难过曾经心碎，但如今重要的不再是别人，而是身边的这一位。


过去因为懦弱，因为只害怕失去，而错过了这么多这么多。

过去已经过去，以后又难以预测，只有现在才是最真实的。

i thought i'm through. said i'm done. and stumbled into the arms of the one.


曾经何时觉得爱情需要等待寻找，但是他说爱情不完全是等待也需要创造经营。
曾经何时觉得爱情不需为谁妥协，但是她说爱情必须彼此磨合沟通才能永远的。



yes他或许不是最好的，也有可能以后会有更好的男生参与我的人生；但是优秀的男生很多，真正适合可以一起生活的却不多。我深刻的记得我曾经看过一本书，作者是Alexandra Potter，作品名字是《Me and Mr. Darcy》。mr darcy是著名作家Jane Austen里的一位灵魂人物。他非常的富有，拥有非常好的家庭背景，受过高等的教育，而且非常绅士，拥有着俊俏的脸庞，他是每一位女孩心目中完美的情人；就像沈佳宜在每个男孩心中的分量一样。然而最好的就是好的么。

我记得《Me and Mr. Darcy》里面说到女主角非常难过，Mr. Darcy静静的在旁边安慰她，女主角扑向Mr. Darcy要求拥抱，Mr. Darcy竟然绅士地推开了她说，别如此，你怎么了。女主角说了这么一句话：当时是我第一次觉得Mr. Darcy有让我不满意的地方，我不需要安慰，我只需要他恨恨的抱住我，告诉我一切都会没事。



他尊重我的家人，我奢求什么。他对人真诚真心，我奢求什么。他保护欲很强，常常注意到我没留意到的细节，我奢求什么。他很负责任，即使只有微薄的力量也会尽力把自己的事情做好，我奢求什么。他做事对人都很有分寸，我奢求什么。


对没有错他有他的缺点，但是世上没有人是完美的。他愿意接纳我的缺点，我奢求什么。

过去我真的没多想什么，但从他看我的眼神我知道，现在这一刻是最真实，最该守住的。





15岁那年的故事又重播了，只有这次我不愿再放手。




xoxo.

hush it's thursday

well anyway yes i just celebrated my 18th birthday!  and today i just have a few words to say.

well first, thank You my heavenly Father. for bringing me to this world and for keeping my mother here when she was giving birth to me. apparently i got tangled in the umbilical cord and nearly died and my mom had to do a C section. and so i thank You my Lord for my mom because i honestly don know where i would be without her all these years. and thank You for my health, for my education, for the environment i was raised in and everything. thank You for loving me, even though i was just a despicable sinner; for accepting me every time, even though i was the one letting go of You; for all the people around me, because they might just be the best present i could ever receive all these years. luvvv you.

and second, my mom and dad. as most of you don know. i was actually a handful teenager growing up. even though i don't do drugs and i was always far away from wine or over-speeding on the road or hanging out with the wrong gang but i was a really difficult teenager. i have always been unthankful about everything, i find faults in everyone even though i was the one wrong, not to mention i was lazy in my studies. i was a mess. but they never give up on me, and still love me even though i don't deserve it at all. they were always patient on me and they were the ones who taught me to be the person i am today. they can be controlling and strict sometimes but i know they did it for my own good. it's just my stupid teenage pride reeling in and i just can't make myself to apologize when it was me who did wrong. but they never stop loving me. 

and third, maorazi. see you're so important, you're placed third haha. maorazi and i have been friends for six years. even though it seemed only last week when we shared our first joke but yet too seemed like forever. she has been through it all with me--all the high and low. and yes we had our fights and we have a lot of differences in a lot of manner. but she was the one who was here all along. and even though sometimes she doesn't quite understand me, she never question me. and even though we have our own circle of friends, we never talk ill of each other behind each other's back. she's really an amazing friend, and that doesn't come a lot in a lifetime. so thank youfor being there for me all these years. 

and qhan. haha are you reading? if you are, are you surprised ;)

thank you :) from the deep bottom of my heart, we have our misunderstanding back in junior but you turned out to be a great friend. thank you for all the advices when i needed them and all the talking when i seeked them. you're always mature and realistic and that's what i love most about you. you're real  that's the best way i can describe you. don't you let anyone ever change that. and thank you for the wallet 

next. hung ren jun. hi. we might not turn out to be what we've expected at the very beginning. but needless to say, you are the best guy friend i could ever ever have in my teenage years. we share everything and we never seek for return. you've your own little way to see things and you amazed me every time. we're obviously not so close now but i know we've never changed. none of us did, just the time did. thank you for your present, it's really delicate, just like you. fragile, something i have to handle with absolute care. and always remember  i wish the best for you.

and of course, all the you who wished my happy birthday. i wasn't expecting this much blessing from all of you as it is almost uec and you're all busy with the trial exam and everything. but somehow you manage to take the time to give me blessing and supports and even gifts. you guys probably don't know but that literally means the entire world to me. as you guys honestly don't need to take all the trouble but you did   so..thank you.

<3




xoxo.

快速的下午茶

今天上课上到一半，坐在旁边的江雪宁说：诶！放学你跟我去个地方！
自然而然我问：去哪里！
她说：管那么多干嘛！去不去拉！
我说：你不用说去哪里啊！
她说：吵死了！做个决定就好了！又不会把你拿去卖掉！
我说：这么少肉也很难卖到好价钱拉！
她说：最好是，走不走拉！
我快疯了：去哪里拉！

就这样吵了一整个早上，我都还做不出决定。说实在的，全班只有雪宁压的住我。
我的脾气很硬，不愿意做的事情，不论别人怎么哄都没有用。可是就是雪宁，我完完全全奈何不住她。

所以我就答应她了，说真的，我自己都吓到了。因为我从来就是一放学就回家的好小孩哈哈。
妈妈也不准我乱乱跑，每次出去都得经过她的同意我才会放心的出门，而且时时刻刻都要抱着电话免得她打来的电话我没接到。

你知道拉，那种威力，我的心脏可负荷不了。

可是电话还是要打，事情还是要交代。所以呢我借了雪宁的电话给妈妈报了报平安什么的，妈妈也难得的批准了。

所以我和恩惠就穿着校服趴趴的坐上雪宁的贼车，被她拐到了那个她一直不肯说的地方。猜是啥。

别浪费时间了，答案是--noddle house，为了吃蛋糕。

我知道了差点儿疯掉，吃蛋糕就吃蛋糕，装什么神秘啊！

其实呢哈哈，是有背后故事的。


事情是这样。我18岁生日快到了，呜呼！没拉哈哈，不知道为什么今年特别不想过生日。

我平时就不怎么喜欢热闹，要我办个生日派对然后请一大堆人来，我是没办法办到的。

but雪宁一直想帮我庆祝，其实她没说，可是我都知道哈哈。她最喜欢在我生日的时候想一大堆很烂的招数整我，去年的就让我没齿难忘。

所以呢我今年长大了一岁也聪明了，就早早放狠话说：今年谁敢送礼物，甚至说一声生日快乐，我就翻桌。哈哈是不是很不可理喻，说到很像很多人要送礼物这样。（旁人：没人会记得你生日ok！）

T______________________________T

but没想到雪宁道高一丈魔高一尺，用命令的口气让我没办法说不。所以我只能说，还是你强T__T

我们到了noodle house，其实我蛮喜欢这个餐厅。结果我们才坐下，雪宁才翻开了menu，她才发现今天竟然没serve蛋糕。

我本来以为是小事，因为noodle house的面类什么都很好吃，而且我本来就没很喜欢吃蛋糕。

结果雪宁却气冲冲的说：走了拉！

然后就在我目瞪口呆之下走出了他们的餐厅。

真的好丢脸！当下我很想死哈哈。可是旁边的恩惠很像习惯了。

不管怎么样，总之我们最后ended up在tahnamas，可以见得雪宁那个女人真的下定了决心要吃蛋糕。

走了进去，点了蛋糕，我们就坐下聊天。

蛋糕出来的时候，雪宁非常明显的很失望，这个女人的嘴巴也太挑了吧！

那两块legendary的蛋糕。

总之呢，她很火大，拼命的按旁边的那个叫waiter的按钮，我真的快被她弄到丢脸死了。

诺诺就是这个，声音很大声，整个餐厅都听得到。可是就是waiter听不到，都没人来serve她。

她更火大，拼了命的按，我真的要疯了。

原来她要点水，她说很腻。

这个就是雪宁，是不是很漂亮，而且皮肤超好。

而这是恩慧，刚刚认识就被拉来陪我‘过生日’的朋友哈哈。

不管怎么样，这火速的下午茶真的很快速的在半个小时之内赶完了，真的很累哈哈。

在这里跟江同学说声谢谢T___________T有你这个朋友有时候实在很有趣。生活真的是因你而多姿多彩哈哈。

xoxo.

darn this life

everyone has their own checklist of desirable attributes for their potentially to-be-boyfriend/girlfriend. don't lie, we all do. i've never imagined someone to love another person without conditions, other than our parents. some checklist are long, some might be short. we don't actually write them in black and white but somehow while lining the boundaries between just-friends or maybe-to-be-boyfriend/girlfriend, we eventually seek help from our checklist.

by checklist, i don't mean '1. hot 2. tall'. by that i mean well maybe you like someone with a giving heart. and of course you still have friends who aren't specifically giving but have other great personalities, you can deal with them and hang out with them. picking friends normally aren't that exquisite, ok maybe picking a good friend is, but when it comes to choosing someone to spend for your life, we often have our own few little..shall i say, conditions.

and it was those conditions which created a dividing line between two completely different relationships--just friends or potentially boyfriend/girlfriend. when you encounter a total stranger who is sweet and caring but maybe a little too flirty, and if you're a person who doesn't like flirty girls, you eventually list her in the 'just-friend-list', you never think out of the box after that. it helps when we're deciding whether to take a step forward or to take a step backward. in my opinion, i don't believe in pure relationship between opposite sexes. ok i once did. but that particular friend who held my belief for three years broke it. and now i've not only lost a friend but a good one. not that i say you can't fall in love with your best friend, because that, i imagine, might be the best relationship that i could ever ever think of. and if you're that one lucky person, i envy you for that.

we kept our little checklist, we held it like a possession, we treasure it for what's in it particularly plans our entire future. some maybe randomly trash, some maybe stupidly unacceptable but that's us. and it was our choice. but given time, when we grow a little older and little wiser, we stopped and took a look at our checklist and wondered. what if what we've been searching for all this while aren't the right thing. or what if this person standing right next to us doesn't make it through half of the checklist and our faith started to fade. we're scared. what if this forever isn't a forever.

and to make it worse, someone close actually question your checklist. it has to be someone who is important enough to make us feel bad or that we have done something wrong. for instance.. our mom. it was her who is around us all these years, it was her who brought us here, it was her who taught us to be the person we are today. if she says something's wrong, doesn't that just evidently label it wrong for infinity. but what if, just what if, it is something that we wanted to prove right.

never have i thought something could be this helpless. as if everyone is standing by the bank watching you drowning in fear and unsure, no one is helping. if you successfully climbed up the bank, they said well you're lucky. but if you didn't, they're be watching with their noses up high and said well it was your choice. as if everyone is watching you, hoping for you to get hurt or to regret just to rub their noses in it and said 'see, i told you so.'

the path ahead seemed dark and helpless. no that it doesn't have any hope in it but too many decisions to make. too many 'what if' to deal if. sometimes i got so frustrated that i could kill myself. but in other times i wondered, i just have to wait, like a good girl. but what if the other significant person couldn't wait no longer and it was heart that i couldn't bear to break. it's not something that we could control and it's not something that a person could make decisions on individually. and what if...this whole thing was a mistake from the beginning. or what if we just think that because we're too afraid of making any decisions, not to mention hurting someone important.

as bestie said, we can't control our feelings but it's the decision that we have to make so that less people will get hurt. if there is to be a party to get hurt in this situation, i'd rather it be me.

everyone has a checklist. some on it comes and some on it goes. it's not for infinity. maybe someone makes it ten out of ten but still can't bring you happiness. maybe some only makes it one out of ten but still loves you for all he has.






but everything...is just a maybe.

with all my heart

wooah there too much is happening there

i treat people in my own way

trying so hard so that no one gets hurt

but somehow it's not working at all

they say i am too innocent to live in society

but this is me

and nothing is going to change that

the world is complicated yes

but i am not

i trust no school

some facts are rushing through.

well first--school's starting in two days.

and second--i haven't done much studies yet.

third--im still on my blogspot. 

and fourth--macbarbie's new video is out. 

carrying on fifth--i having it run on another tab. 

sixth--mildred implied on going on a movie last night.

seventh--books don't seem to like me much.

well eighth--neither does the school.

ninth--don't worry i don't like them either. 

and lastly--i trust no one who's excited with back to school. 

xoxo

heartache to heartache we stand

i went for SPM oral trial the other day.

it was on English so i had not much to worry about haha. wow proudness just entered the room.

i arrived really early. bestie hadn't arrived so that left me and a bunch of senior twos. awkwardness overflowed here. so i pretended to be busy and texted bestie to come quickly haha.

we've done this practices for so many times that i lost count.

i was sitting in the waiting room for my number to be called. when someone tapped on my shoulder.

i turned around and i saw qhan. i was shocked cause she didn't tell that she was coming that day as well.

turned out it was a really really funny story.

i think you guys wanna know, well alright then, here goes..

qhan went to school that morning, thinking that her oral trial was the day after. when she found out from her class monitor that it was that morning, she totally freaked out.

she borrowed yuan's car and rushed to the venue. with absolutely nothing prepared.

no ic, no paperwork, i personally think she was really really brave (not a sarcasm).


the story was pretty darn awesome and dramatic but she didn't write a lot in her blog.


anyway we got into the same group for group discussion session.


i remembered this particular part when we sat down for our group discussion.

we were supposed to talk about the topic that the examiners gave us. the examiners were sitting beside, listening and grading us.

and the advice is to ask a lot of questions and talk about as if you're really having a discussion and actually communicating.

the topic's about losing weight. my character was to talk about a good diet.

so i went..oh you guys should eat healthy such as eating fruits, vegetables, wholewheat bread..

and qhan suddenly asked," why are they healthy?"

and i was like..

i mean, how am i supposed to know why are they healthy. i just know they are! 

but obviously i couldn't say that, cause the examiners were just next to me! waiting for me to answer. 

so i just blabbered every nutrition that i can think of. 

i gave her a good scold when we're done. 

we waited until bestie finished hers. and qhan drove us back to school.

we did a little ponteng and went for lunch first :p 

we were driving to the cafe that we wanted to go when we ran into policemen!

the police were checking vehicles beside the lane and every car in front stopped. 

and immediately everything went into chaos! haha. 

this is exactly qhan's expression. 

haha. she was like..

OH NO! I DIDN'T BRING MY DRIVER'S LICENCE! NOOOO! YUAN'S CAR WINDOWS ARE TOO DARK!! THEY WON'T MAKE IT!! OHH NOOOOOOO! WE'RE WEARING UNIFORMS! QUICK! SLIDE DOWN THE WINDOW!!

but apparently we weren't the policemen's target and they let us passed peacefully. 

and we were like..

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH.

it was really the most most most most most most most thrilling moment i have had for the last 18 years!

haha. 

i honestly thought we would end up in the police station with the police doing the paperwork and my mom would come rushing in with my dad, and they would grab me by my shoulders and asked," are you alright!?" 

....

what?

that was what movies would end with okey. lol.

and this is what chocwa's post would end with. double lol.

I heart my bestiesssss (:

xoxo.

the most momentous moment

after my previous the most absorbing moment blog post, imma do a 'the most momentous moment' blog post now that i have a reason to.


anyway, i have been on this blogging thing for about three years now.

when i first started, to be honest i just wanna fit into the group cause all of my besties were doing so.

and so the four of us all individually created a blog and somewhere in the middle, three of them stopped and i was the only one who continued.


i wasn't really an artistic person. i do draw, i do illustrate, i do it all the time. but i don't have this crazy passion for it.

i wasn't really a musical person. i like piano, i like music but erm i couldn't get myself to be persistent about practising hehe.

and so i am more of a writing person. i remember when i was really really young, i wanna be a fairytale book writer just like enid blyton. hehe

but i don't do good writing. as you can see from my blog posts, that is if you do read them.

i did grammatical mistakes all the time, and i really think my posts are boring as they are just something from my life, which is even more boring. lol.

but i like it. though im not good at it. i like writing, all my life.


so i guess that's why i could actually go on writing for so long.

at first, it was nothing really.


i started when i was 15. my blogposts then were mostly emo posts. about a stupid jerk or a boy in our class. lolol. please don't refer back, my dear readers, they were frankly embarrassing.


and slowly it turned into something like a diary that i wrote to record the things in my daily life. well obviously, that's what diaries are for-___- see what i mean when i say i was boring?


and slowly again i started writing in english instead of chinese. i love chinese, but i love english as well. and i have struggled between them from time to time.


despite of all the changes of my blogposts, it was nothing more than just a 'peer amusement', i dare say.

because no one other than my friends are reading my blog hehe. and i have no problem to that.


i actually remember the first time a friend from my class spoke to me about my blog.

it was about a blog post when i was bullied at school and i was devastating and i wrote a post about it.

he: hey i saw your blog.

me: really!? you read my blog!?

he: yea it was inspiring.

me:..omg, thanks! hehe.

it was the very first time when someone told me they read my blog. and i remembered every word that he said cause it was a big deal for me.

but it was nothing more.


for the last three years, my most supportive follower might be bestie-__- and my most loyal follower might be my dad-__-


until today.


as you know, i did my 'the most absorbing moment' post. it was just a really random post, as you can see from its double lol tag.

but someone named emma wong commented on my blogspot.

and literally i was like...

...omg..so there's actually someone who reads my blog...?

HAHAHAHAHA.

but it was really the most momentous moment in my life :) though i might sound really stupid right now.

never do i know that there's actually someone reading my blog. and i just feel so happy about it. 

hehe.

so emma, yea you hehe. thank you for reading my randomness. i hope it was not too torturing :p

but ermm. you cannot believe how did one little comment make my day (: and i will continue writing.

gotta note this down: first real reader who commented--EMMA.

haha. now everyone who named Emma in this world just seemed prettier. 

lol.

xoxo.

the most absorbing moment

everyone has their own 'most absorbing moment' in life. alright, now i sound like im writing an essay.


but really i probably just experienced my 'most absorbing moment' in my entire life though i have only spent 17 years of it.

but i know for sure that it is it.



the story goes like this.


i have 'goosebumped' arms. that means my upper part of my arm are covered with this fake goosebumps.

it's not itcy, it's not irritating, no it's irritating, but it doesn't hurt or anything. but it's there.

i thought of nothing more about those, i thought it was just genetic sign that i was truly born by my mom -___- cause my cousins have them too.


but my mom strongly declared that it was not normal and insisted on taking me to the doctor of traditional Chinese medicine.


i actually preferred to go to the doctor of traditional Chinese medicine ( is there a shorter name for these-___-) over the doctor of Western medicine. (oh great, here comes another one.)


from now on, doctor of traditional Chinese medicine would be DTCM and the doctor of Western medicine would be DWM alright.

just to make it easy for both of us.


i goggled search DTCM and DWM just to make sure that it's not a funny word in reality.

turns out DTCM is Department Tourism and Commerce Marketing. wow. and DWM is dynamic window manager.

all these professionalization is gonna bring this blog into the next level.


anyway, i preferred to go to the DTCM over the DWM cause DTCM just works better for me.

and cause this doctor that i go to is really cute. lolol.



we sat down at his table. and he did his regular stuffs, looking at my tongue, feel my pulse and check my former medical condition.


i was ready to act just like an adult and speak for myself but my mom was too quick for me.


apparently she answered all the doctor's questions for me whilst i sat there, feeling like a 4 year old.


mom im 18!

ish.

well i didn't turn hmp, i was so ready to speak for myself.

but anyway, the doctor explained a lot of things that i don't quite understand to my mom and turned out she was right.

it was not normal. 

it has something to do with my digestive system and my own poor constitution. 

that's nothing serious really. until the doctor said," oh btw, there's a few things that you have to stop eating."

and i was like

--fine. what's it.

doctor: well first no eggs. no seafood. no food with chemicals involved (that practically just rules out everything) no canned food etc etc.

and i was like

--NO!

i screamed: NO! how could you do that! you're practically curbing my appetite! you don't wanna do that! you'll be sorry! how could i ever ever live without foooooooodd!!

no i was kidding. haha i was a good obedient patient. though deep in my heart i don't wanna listen to him.

so here im in front of my dining table and have absolutely no idea what i shall can have for breakfast.

might be a great time to lose a few pounds.

but still :p

im a proud born eater.

so erm anyone out there who has the same problem as me, don't leave it and think it's incurable, seek advice from a doctor (: you could change everything. good luck!

xoxo. 

i've seen worse

Beastly was a romantic drama film released on march 2011. when i first saw its portrait at the theatre, i told myself i have to go watch it.

so i told bestie bout it.

but she didn't like it cause she said the boy's face was quite disgusting. bestie is really afraid of gruesome scenes.

and sooner or later, i forgot about it myself.

and it was until this holiday, when i once again come across this film that i have forgotten for so so so long.

love is never ugly :)

starring Vanessa Hudgens! apart from the interesting plot, she's the mostly the reason why i am so attracted to this film.


in my opinion, beauty and the beast is the only perfect sign of what they so call true love out of all the disney princesses film.

so when i heard that they did a 'human version' out of it, i freaked out.


and it turned out better than i had ever ever expected <3 ..beautiful.

vanessa hudgen's sooooo pretty.

though i did like hunter way better than kyle. i actually like him bald-___- i have no idea why.

so when he transformed back to his original erm face, i was quite disappointed and sad.

i really really did think that he looks way way handsome bald and with all the scars and spikes and tattoos.



but a scene actually hit me.

when kyle, well mostly hunter, entered lindy's bedroom to talk to her.

lindy actually told hunter that she liked kyle back in school and even had imagined that kyle did like her back a little.

lindy chuckled with a sigh," the daughter of a addict fell in love with a addict."

i bet lindy has never thought that she would fell in love, or even like, with kyle. given that he's quite a self-centered, mean, impolite, swallow jerk.

but she did.

because she saw underneath him and she knew he wasn't really like that. though even he himself thought that was the way he was.

a good girl falls in love with a bad boy.

i never thought i would either.




highly recommended :)


xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

buonanotte

没有星星的夜晚

只有棉被的温暖

配上热热的美渌

看着浪漫偶像剧

想个不该想的人

偷偷在心里许愿

其实还蛮满足的

every morning every morning

getting up from bed, trying to look my specs.

woah woah, hold it, why isn't it on the desk that i leave on every night. 

"vonne, wake up! get up quick."

"no, go away."

"no come on seriously. wake up."

"ugh! what!?"

"did you see my specs?"

"no. now go away."

ish, then why did i put my specs. 

okok eileen calm down, recall, you were watching pitch perfect final performance. 

no, that was like two nights ago.

yea yea that was two nights ago.

last night..oh! you were reading the book that mom bought.

what else? oh and suddenly mom barged in and told you that you desperately need to do a mask.

and then.....you decided to.

okay so, moving on, you're doing your mask and reading your book.

then  you accidentally fell asleep. yep yep that's it, cause you briefly remember voone coming in and switched off the lights for you.

ok then! if you accidentally fell asleep, that means the specs are under the bed again hehe.

searching searching searching searching.

gosh, i find nothing. how can that be!

ok, we'll run through the story again. gosh.

ok first, you were reading the book that mom bought.

and suddenly mom barged in and told you that you desperately need to do a mask.

and then....you decided to.

so you did.

oh mask mask mask mask mask.

when i did my mask i had to take off my specs right.

yea it's in the bathroom.

look there it is.

sherlock holmes choc to the rescue.





lol.

what if

you pressed the doorbell at 6 on the dot. i screamed from my dresser," someone, get the door!"

you popped your head in before your foot did and threw the brightest smile, one that's even brighter than the ones you have around me, and said," good evening, aunty."

my mom smiled," come in come in." and you said," thanks for having me."

i slipped my arms through the purple long sleeves and stumbled down the stairs.

my mom frowned," and i thought you guys are going out?"

i answered," yea mom why?"

my mom frowned even harder," shouldn't you like dressed better?"

we shared a smile and you said," it's fine aunty."

my mom gave up," alright, have fun. drive safely."

i hugged my mom tight and she whispered in my ear," be careful."

i let out a big laugh and said," hahahhaha, yes mama."


i climbed into the car as you waved back to my mom, and said," so..where do you wanna go?"

i tilted my head and said," no idea."

you started the car," well then i know one place."





when we've reached 'your place', i chuckled," maybe i should have some ideas."

you laughed.

it was a football field.

i climbed out of the car and asked,“ really, what are we doing here, sport boy."

you said nothing and took out pizzas from the car boot.

i snorted," wow, what if i said i want to have cheese cake back in the car just now?"

you smiled," you said no idea on nine out of ten nights."

i rolled my eyes," ISH."

"and you hate cheese cake."



we sat on the grass and i looked up into the horizon.

you laid out the pizza and handed me a slice. it was my favorite. macaroni and cheese.

we're both in baggy jeans.

im in my purple sweater and you're wearing a plain white shirt.

im wearing sneakers and you're wearing vans.

i didn't do any makeup and you didn't bother to set your hair.




mouthful i said," hey i think something is missing."

you shook your head and said," yea sure." then you pulled out your phone.

something came out. it was one direction's Little Things.

i smile. how did you know that.

i watched as you let the pizza crumbs fall on your shirt.

i could just do this whole summer. watching you and say absolutely nothing.

that would be a hell of a summer.

i didn't know how long have i been staring at you until you turned to me and said

"you're missing the sunset."





we waited for the stars to come out. because this was your favorite part of the whole night.

you ask me to make a wish every time we do this, even if there's no meteor whole night.

i opened my eyes and i saw you still staring at the starry sky.

"why didn't you make a wish." i asked.

"because i don't need it." you said.

"and why did you think i need it?" i was confused.

you laughed and said," oh you need it."

"why?"

"because you wish to marry ryanhiga or see one direction every time. that's nearly impossible."

"ISH. and how did you know that."

"because you whispered too loud the last time."





and it was all silent.

if it was with others, i might be thinking this is extremely awkward and uneasy.

if it was with others, i might be thinking about something to talk about right now.

if it was with others, i might be thinking if they're having second thoughts.



but i'd never. if it was you.

just as the anna kendrick started singing when i'm gone, you stood up and let out your hand

"we should be going."

we gathered the garbage and headed for the car.

i saw you taking one last look at the field and the starry night.




just as we're reaching my gate, you asked," so when do you wanna go out again?"

i said," we should really do something, like movies the next time."

you smiled," yes, but it would never be the same."

i smiled because i knew you're right.



you stopped the car in front of my house.

i handed back your cardigan and said," thank you for tonight..and pizza."

you smiled "goodnight."

既然相爱

我问她：他爱你吗？

她说：爱。

我问她：你爱他吗？

她说：爱。

我问她：所以问题在哪里？

可能是身边故事看过了，自己的故事经历够了，

就觉得在一个适合的时段遇到自己爱的人，

而那个人又刚刚好爱自己，

是一件非常非常难得又有缘分的事情。

在《小资女孩向前冲》里，

秦子奇为了沈杏仁放弃了继承爸爸的事业。

沈杏仁疯了问：为什么？你是那么的努力。

秦子奇说：因为事业这些东西，我可以自己努力，

但是爱情除了努力，还需要一点运气。

所以我总觉得爱情这种东西很炫，

小时候都不觉得，

可能小时候还年轻哈哈，比较有魅力，

自己喜欢的人都会刚刚好喜欢自己，

所以总觉得爱情没什么难的嘛。

可是现在长大了哦，至少18岁了，

真的觉的呵呵其实没有那么容易。

世界上有70亿人口，你遇到了他是缘分没错。

可是不要忘记，他的世界也有70亿人口，

他遇到了你是他的缘分吗？

也是70亿分之一的机会。

天啊，后面有几个零啊。

小时候根本就不懂这种东西，

联络了几封信息就以为是爱情，

他对你甜甜的笑就以为是爱情，

心里有暖暖的哇就以为是爱情。

现在想起来真的觉得是神经病哈哈。

现在长大了，大家也成长了。

对待爱情没有那么勇敢，可能大家都怕受伤。

那神经病的青春，跌跌撞撞的让我们受伤了不少，

可是也成长了不少。

都说小孩子要疼了才会怕，

小时候贪玩想去玩刀还是碰热水，

妈妈从来没有阻止，

别人的妈妈可能会怜惜的说：哦baby别碰，乖哦很热哦

可是我妈妈会说：不要拦她，给她碰，痛了才会怕

呵呵，我就是有个这样的妈妈

大家都怕受伤，所以那壶热水没人碰，渐渐的也冷了。

我有个好朋友猫拉屎，

她这个人没什么很特殊的优点哈哈没有拉，

可是她全身上下，从头顶顶到脚趾头，

让我最最最最羡慕的

就是她对爱情的真诚和勇气。

即使在爱情上受到了多大的挫折，

前男朋友如何的背叛，

心脏如何的悲痛欲绝，

身边的人如何的辱凌，

她从来没有放弃过爱情。

更从来没有特地的去说前男朋友/小三的坏话。

更多都是我在旁边看不过眼，拼了命的说哈哈。

可是她没有。

对于这点，我真的是神马的羡慕啊哈哈

可能别人会说她这么快的就能从情伤走出来，

真的是个很花心的人。

听到了这种话，我当下立马超想好好去踹那个人的脚，

然后说，你懂屁屁啊！

每个人都有自己走出心碎的方式，
每个人都有自己走出难过的方式，
她被自己世界里最重要的两个人背叛了依然坚强的站起来，
总好过你大半夜了还在那自己写status，期盼着一个不可能。

好吧，有时候我真的很坏。


可是她对爱情的真诚，真的没办法不佩服。
曾经有个人对我说：你可以对我发脾气，可是请你记得，
伤害你的是别人，不是现在这个真心想对你好的人。

虽然在当时并不应景，可是现在回想其实他说的一点都没错，
错的上一个人，不是爱情，
我们却依然眷念上一个人，
放弃了爱情。
这世界真是不公平。




所以说，过去的错误就让它过去吧。

曾经受过伤的心，补了补，继续给他爱下去 :p

人生那么短，青春那么短，别后悔阿


所以说，我亲爱爱的好朋友，不是你猫拉屎哈哈，
另外一个，对就是你。


不要放弃 :)

好好祈祷

既然相爱






xoxo.

insanely awesome

bestie's officially 18! haha.

here's jack saying happy birthday. sorry i can't find finn hahaha. 

anyway we made a little trip to Anson, one of her essential in life, for a birthday dinner haha. three of her life-long friends went too--simon, jonathan and jackson.

the dinner's nothing special actually.

just that we met besite's perennial crush. we called him 13 behind his back because he was 13 years old the time she first liked him. but i think he was 16 something now. jackson or jonathan spotted him entering the rest room. so i decided to stalk a little because erm, sadly i've never actually laid eyes on this legendary boy though bestie talked about him for so many years. so i followed him with bestie and pretended to wash our hands until he came out from the men's washroom. there's only one basin for washing hands so he had to wait for us. i peeked into the mirror and saw him standing behind. hahahahahahaha what groupie!

this actually reminded me of my first 'chance meeting' with eric. though it's not really by chance. yea i planned it. i saw him walking into the men's washroom as well -___-  and yea you guys know the rest. so we'll skip that part. cause it quite shameless. lolol.

the three boys all had mixed grilled i think, i had beef and i think bestie's was..chicken? can't exactly remember but they ordered wine! no not actually wine, it's beer or something. bestie ordered a chocolate smoothie for me and she had beer -__- cause she said im still 17 lol. not officially 18 so cannot drink beer, only smoothie. lolol. and i told her to put the two cups together and take a picture to upload on facebook. the caption will be 17versus18. ahahahahahahaa. oh it's not funny? well i thought it was._.

note jackson enjoying his mixed grilled. and the two cups in the middle of the photo. the two bffs smoothie and beer. lolol.

but i did take one sip from bestie's cup. let's hope my mom won't be reading this. but it tasted horrible! like seriously it's burning my throat and even if im drinking my smoothie for the rest of the night, i still can taste beer.

oh! and a little story. two strangers/ladies came up to our table in the middle of our meal and sang songs for us. and we were like awkwardly looking at each other until one of the ladies handed us a card. they're actually gathering donations for starving children. so i asked them if they can sing happy birthday. and they were like oh sure! who's the birthday kid. i pointed bestie and bestie was like sosososo shy hahhaha. so they sang happy birthday and we stuffed a few notes into the card to help the children.

i know that some of you would argue that the two ladies might be liars or something but i tried my best not to think that way. there're still some good citizens in this world alright. and the ladies' voices were pretty amazing actually :D

oh and the spotlight of the night--the cake!! oh and they actually ordered a chocolate cake that has a bit of wine element in it-_- and it was too bitter for me so i gave my share to jackson but i did enjoyed the cream and the chocolate part and the chocolate pieces on top of it <3 yea im such a chocolate freak lol.

and that's her! hahaha, making her 3 big wishes. and we made her say the last wish and i think it was wishing everyone a good result at the end of year or stay happy or something. ^_____^

i think she looks super cute here haha. 

the lightning in the restaurant made it like sunshine on us, haha, we're so pretty even the lights couldn't help to shine on us. lolol. 

after dinner, we went to a park near my house for a little stroll. and i accidentally stepped into the deep drain and ruined my new shoes and got a little scratches but it's all good. bestie was like so casual haha i think she's already used to me falling down or tripping over like a daily routine :p we walked around the park or maybe just across the bridge lolol and chit-chatted. it was nice :)

and we took some photos ;) and jackson kept on saying that the one who stood at the last of the line will meet a ghost or something. ish! double ish! triple ish! and the ish after that! 

and that's us ::) teehee! 

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL :)

hope you'll like your gift. 

CONTINUE

to be this randomly awesome

to be this purely beautiful

to find your prince charming

i luavve you! 

muaxx muaxx.

lol.

xoxo :)